A flexible guide/game for wherever you are right now that supports Thriving Through the Holidays!

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Inspiration for Thriving into the New Year

The phone call started like so many others this time of year.

“Tiffany, I’m just… stuck. My husband’s family wants Thanksgiving at 2pm. Mine wants it at 4pm. Everyone expects us to show up. And honestly? I don’t want to do either one the way we always have.”

I could hear the frustration in her voice. The exhaustion. That feeling of being trapped in traditions that no longer fit, obligations that drain rather than uplift, and the guilt that comes with wanting something different.

Her forward motion had stopped.

The Holiday Labyrinth

Think of life as a labyrinth. Most of the year, you’re walking your path, navigating the turns, moving forward even when it’s complicated. But then the holidays arrive, and suddenly you hit an obstacle you can’t seem to get past. Instead of a smooth mindful walk where the journey is the focus, there are a whole lot of opinions from others, expectations (both ours based on our past experiences and those of others who may have been used to us being a certain way). But life changes, it’s the one thing we can count on. So instead of allowing others to step into our “driver’s seat” we need small, kind tweaks to our life patterns that will enable us to easily create some new and probably much needed holiday traditions, examples: 

– Competing family obligations and expectations 

– Grief over loved ones no longer at the table 

– Financial stress from gift-giving pressure 

– Exhaustion from doing everything the same way you always have 

– The feeling that you “should” be happier than you are

– Custody battles that complicate what used to be simple

– Empty nest reality leaving hallow traditions that used to be built around full tables 

Sound familiar? 

When we encounter these obstacles, our forward motion abruptly stops. 

We feel stuck. Overwhelmed. Like we’re just spinning our wheels

The Ratchet Effect

Here’s what I’ve learned from years of helping people navigate life’s sticky spots: You need tools that create forward motion AND prevent backward sliding.

Think about a ratchet wrench. With each small turn, it moves forward and locks in place. This brilliant design allows our previous, intentional action to be locked in, it can’t slip backward. Even when progress feels tiny in our life, it’s important for our forward motion that we stop and LOCK IN that new place, the new skills and habits we developed, and be able to build on them. 

What mechanism ensures you’re not losing ground, especially during the holidays?

That’s what we need to practice, to bring from the back of our mind (in those deep, habitual crevices) to the front, into our LIGHT place, especially during the holidays and we need to double down, to increase our awareness and healthy practices that support our Well-Being! Not giant leaps. Not perfection. Just small, intentional actions that move us forward and lock in as new patterns.

Back to My Client’s Story

So when my client said she was stuck between two family Thanksgiving demands, I asked her: “What do YOU want?”

Long pause.

“I want to create some new traditions. Just for us. But when I try to tell my husband what I’m thinking, he just… doesn’t remember, or doesn’t get it.”

“Did you discuss anything specific?” I asked.

“Yes! He asked me to write down a list of traditions I want to start.”

Another pause. Then quietly: “I never did it.”

Here’s the thing: She writes lists ALL THE TIME. For groceries, for work, for everything. But it didn’t occur to her to write this particular list FOR HIM. To meet him where he is. To create something they could BOTH reference and build from.

“Make the list,” I told her. 

I heard the shift in her voice immediately. An “E-Tiffany” moment (my version of an epiphany!). 

“The list can BE the tradition!” she said. “We can add to it every year!”

Yes!!! “But make it beautiful. Paint it, frame it, put it somewhere special. Make the LIST itself part of YOUR family, when you pull it out each year you will see each of those very special actions that you both decided would be fun for your new family.”

That’s a ratchet moment. One small action – writing a list – that moves forward AND locks in a new pattern. A tradition of co-creating traditions. A way of communicating that works for both of them.

The Return of a Useful Tool 

Twenty-five years ago, my business partner Tammy Seol and I created something called “Thrive Through the Holidays” for our Fitness on the Move clients. It was a game – a deck of 48 activity cards designed to help people make healthier choices during the season when everyone was complaining about weight gain, family stress, and overwhelming obligations.

We watched hundreds of clients use it. The ones who engaged with it? They didn’t just survive the holidays. They actually THRIVED.

But here’s what I’ve learned since then: The holidays aren’t about a one-size-fits-all wellness plan. They’re about meeting yourself wherever you are on YOUR unique path through the labyrinth of life.

Introducing: Uplift Through the Holidays

My word for 2025 is UPLIFT. It guides everything I do and touch. So we have dusted off our old tool, made some modifications and modernized this proven tool, for right now, for people like you, wherever you are in your messy, beautiful life journey.

This is NOT:

– A rigid program you have to complete

– A comparison game where you rack up points against others  

– A way to “fix” yourself (or others) during the holidays

– Another thing on your overwhelming to-do list

This IS:

– Fabulous choices for wherever you are RIGHT NOW

– Permission to do what actually uplifts YOU

– Small ratchet moments that move you forward and lock the new uplifted you in place

– A flexible companion through a season that’s different for everyone

– An opportunity for fresh, new family discussions, ideas, and probably some fun!

THE “GAME” IS (Walking through a Labyrinth during the Holidays Rather than a Maze):

Feature	Labyrinth	Maze
Path	Single, unicursal path with no dead ends	Multiple paths and choices
Purpose	Meditation, reflection, spiritual journey	To confuse and challenge; a puzzle
Outcome	You are guaranteed to reach the center and can follow the same path back out	You can get lost or find a dead end
Experience	A mindful walk where the journey is the focus	A mental challenge and a competition to find the way out
What is your Life Experience?It IS possible to reshape our experiences!

Here’s the difference:

A MAZE has multiple paths, dead ends, and the goal is to solve the puzzle without getting lost.

A LABYRINTH has one path that’s guaranteed to lead you to the center of itself, designed usually with a place of rest in the middle, a quiet place to breathe and release what we don’t want and to focus our intentions on what we do want. On the journey back out from the center notice feeling clearer, lighter and more focused. The journey itself is the point, rather than striving and stressing about the destination.

Design YOUR Holiday Experience!

The holidays aren’t a maze you need to solve perfectly. They’re a labyrinth you can create! Each holiday season for many years I modify and or let go of something that doesn’t work for me and embrace something that’s a better fit. Here are some examples..

1. Writing and sending cards, replaced by a phone call, a visit or both. Nothing says I care more than planning to see my friends and family.
2. Shopping for a whole bunch of people then needing to wrap a whole bunch of stuff. Instead, I begin my connections with friends and family WAY earlier than Christmas day. For everyone in my home I have a box that I set out Dec 1 and every day I put a little something in it. Less pressure, longer enjoyment, and instead of Christmas 1 day we are celebrating some daily.  
3. Light it up! I have added more holiday lights, especially to the inside of my home. Twinkle lights make me very happy!
4. Cookie baking with friends and a batch to Air Traffic Controllers, first responders, mail carriers, contractors…

It’s fun to think through all the people who have helped me in the last year and make sure I show them my appreciation. Not just at the holidays, but when they do something special, when you are thinking about them, or just because they do a job I would not want to do myself. 

Walk through life with Holiday eyes! Make sure your motivation to do something aligns with your values. Some people need to take a break, some people are fed and fueled by all the holiday activities, then there are those of us that need to give ourselves permission to do stuff differently, our way. 

This guide helps you consider which step stones to place on YOUR pathway, with intention.

How It Works

Download the guide (no login, truly free) “Uplift Through the Holidays” with dozens of activities organized by where you are in your life right now:

• When You’re Just Surviving: Basic self-care, asking for help, one healthy choice at a time.

• When You’re Managing Crisis: Boundaries, delegation, professional support, finding 15 minutes for yourself.

• When You’re Grieving or Healing: Permission to feel what you feel, gentle movement, connecting with safe people.

• When You’re Building or Growing: Creating new traditions (like my client!), trying something different, envisioning what YOU want.

• When You’re Seeking Joy: Laughter, play, beauty, celebration, connection.

Design YOUR Holiday Experience!

Not about points or completion, but about NOTICING what uplifts you:

• ✅ Check off what you try
• 📝 Note: “Did this uplift me? Yes/No/Maybe”
• 💭 Reflect: “What did I learn about myself?”
• 🎯 Adjust: “What do I need next?”

No scorecard or comparison to others. Just YOUR path through YOUR labyrinth.

Decide for yourself if you want this to be a fun game for the WHOLE family to share or is this the year to keep it all to yourself, if that’s what YOU need?)

Why Now?

Because it’s November, and the holiday season is here, this gives us time to think it through, to rearrange a little, to hear our voice and remain calm. 

And because you deserve to THRIVE and when that happens there is enough of us left to help UPLIFT! The World needs more Uplifting so join us through this season, not just survive it, THRIVE through all the days and Emerge anew in the New Year.

Whether you’re navigating your first holiday after loss, your twentieth year of the same exhausting routine, your newest chapter as an empty nester, or somewhere entirely unique – you get to choose what fuels you on your path.

Ready to Begin?

“Uplift Through the Holidays” launches TODAY! – the perfect time to set your intention for the season ahead and be ready to start the New Year feeling great.

But you can start creating your own ratchet moments right now.

What’s ONE small thing you could do this week that would move you forward and prevent sliding back?

Maybe it’s writing that list.  

Maybe it’s saying no to something.  

Maybe it’s scheduling 15 minutes just for you.

Maybe it’s laughing until your cheeks hurt.

Whatever it is, that’s your ratchet. Your small turn forward that locks in place.

A Note About This Season

The holidays used to be messy, but now they are beautiful. Transformed from the early days of loss and grief, I just gave myself permission to skip the holidays completely for a year or two. I chose to travel instead of opening those boxes of memories, visiting new places without any traditions to make me feel sad. After a year of grieving each parent and a close friend, feelings shifted. My grief counselor wisely suggested no major decisions for the first year. Sometimes grief is complicated and emotions may swirl wildly, it can be a rough journey, no one should go through it alone and I am so grateful to friends and family who were patient. In return I show up fully when someone I love is going through something difficult.

Wherever you are in your labyrinth – whatever obstacle has stopped your forward motion – I see you.

You don’t have to have it all figured out.  
You don’t have to be joyful every moment.  
You don’t have to do it the way you’ve always done it.  
You don’t have to do it the way anyone else does it.

You just need small tools. Flexible options. Permission to choose what uplifts YOU.

That’s what this is.

Cheers! Let’s uplift through the holidays together!

This photo is from our first Empty Nest Holiday we all met in Rome Italy. It was GREAT! Saying Goodbye is always the most difficult part.

It’s okay to shed tears but always leave on a healthy, positive note. I like to talk, think and plan the next visit, that’s where I put the leaking love of my hurting heart. Until next time my dear ones!

Please aim to THRIVE!!!!

P.S. If you have decided not to open the attachment, no judgement from us, but here are the ideas, the list of things to consider adding to this holiday season…

“Choose Your Focus” (Pick 1-3 areas that matter most RIGHT NOW):

When You’re Just Surviving:

• One healthy choice today
• Ask for help
• Free stress relief (walk, laugh, breathe)
• Basic self-care (sleep, water, saying no)

When You’re Managing Crisis:

• Set one boundary
• Create 15 minutes just for you
• Delegate one thing
• Professional support (therapy, coach, doctor)

When You’re Grieving/Healing:

• Honor your feelings
• Gentle movement
• Connect with safe person
• Permission to say no

When You’re Building/Growing:

• Try something new
• Create a tradition
• Quality time with loved ones
• Vision for what YOU want

When You’re Seeking Joy:

• Laughter (the 2-point cards!)
• Playtime
• Atmosphere/beauty
• Celebration

Activities span ALL levels – someone struggling financially can still laugh, someone thriving can still need to say no.

If you are here there’s a possibility you might want to experience one or both of these COMPLETELY FREE, GRATIS, GIFTS from us to you…

  “Uplift Through the Holidays” Guide – Click Here to Download – Print it. Share it. Use what uplifts YOU!

🎬 Watch Our Brand New, Hot off the Press, Special Holiday Video Message