(And Why Your Disaster Stories Make the Best Memories)

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After 10+ years of hosting Thanksgiving for our blended, extended, beautifully chaotic family, I’ve learned something important: The best Thanksgivings aren’t the perfect ones. They’re the ones where the ham leaks in the oven, someone forgets the rolls in the back of the truck,, and you end up laughing so hard you can’t breathe.

Here’s our family’s Thanksgiving playbook…

shopping lists, 

recipes,

tips,

 all the delightfully imperfect moments that make it real!

The Great Dinner Rolls Adventure

Speaking of roles (yes, that’s a pun), this reminds me of one of my favorite Thanksgiving happenings. My aunt asked, “Where are the rolls?” I realized they were in the truck and sent someone out to fetch them. They returned empty-handed: “Where is the truck?”

Then I realized my husband had mentioned going to Home Depot. Well, so did the dinner rolls!

The happy ending? He returned, Home Depot was closed (despite their signs saying they were open), but the rolls were A-OK!

Why were the rolls in the truck? Well, us newbies forgot to take them out of the freezer the night before. Our bright idea: put them in the warm enclosed truck bed to thaw. Surprisingly, it worked beautifully! They even survived an unplanned trip to Home Depot.

PRO TIP: Frozen rolls need to thaw the night before. If you forget (like we did), break them apart, place on pans, cover with light towels, and put them somewhere warm and draft-free. A sunny car or warm truck bed actually works!

The Essential Thanksgiving Shopping List

Over the years, we’ve refined our list. Here’s what actually gets used and loved:

The Main Event

Turkey: Buy frozen 2-3 days early so it can thaw completely. DON’T PUT IT IN THE FREEZER unless you are outside of that few days before Thanksgiving. This was my numero uno, first mistake on my first attempt at hosting Thanksgiving. 

In addition these things are BIG! If you haven’t seen a live one, watch the President of the US pardon the turkey. It takes a VERY long time to cook, plus there are a bunch of prep steps.

Overachiever? Love to Cook? Try a fancy Turducken

Ham: Honey ham is the family favorite (you can cook it at a neighbor’s house if your oven is full, just make sure to share!)

Frozen Rolls: Texas Rolls or your favorite. REMEMBER TO THAW THE NIGHT BEFORE! (See story above.)

The Sides That Disappear Fast

• Stuffing (make LOTS! Put in the turkey AND have an additional casserole dish)
• Mashed Potatoes (2 sticks of butter, don’t skimp)
• Sweet Potatoes with marshmallows (fresh or canned, we do both) – Now we grow our own sweet potatoes and we always bring this dish, usually in a casserole, we make more than one and freeze some to enjoy later.
• Green Bean Casserole (4 cans of beans minimum for leftovers) – Sprinkle with those crispy onions and YUM!
• “Pink Crap” (Grandma Sharon’s Special recipe, see below)

Thanksgiving Morning & Day-After Breakfast

One of my favorite memories is Grandpa in the kitchen the morning after, making bacon, eggs, hash browns, and toast for everyone stumbling out of bedrooms. Dad’s family was big so they made industrial sized pots of coffee.

Our modern day breakfast rotation includes:

• Cinnamon Monkey Bread (if we remember to get it out of freezer and make it)

Breakfast Burritos

• Chorizo, sausage and/or bacon
• Eggs 
• Tater tots
• Guacamole (extra credit for delicious homemade)
• Salsa (in a range of heat, at least mild and medium)

Beverages

• Pumpkin coffee creamer (seasonal must-have!)
• Fresh orange juice
• Hot apple cider
• Sparkling cider (Costco has cases)
• Seasonal or good quality coffee
• Caramel apple vodka for the adults and difficult families (just one small glass  please, especially if there are children present awareness of role modeling is important)
• Whatever the kids are into juice boxes, bubbly flavored water, soda (energy drinks are usually popular with the teens)

Dessert Table

• Pumpkin pie 
• Berry pie (Danielle’s specialty)
• Cans of whipped cream, they are just fun!
• Sugar cookies ready with decorating supplies, a great way to keep some people of any age occupied.
• Homemade Chex Mix (3 kinds of Chex) and whatever yummies everyone loves

The Famous “Pink Crap” Recipe

AKA: “Grandma Sharon’s Special Sh*#”

Make it the night before, it’s better when it settles!

Ingredients:

• 1 can sweetened condensed milk
• 1 can mandarin oranges (drained)
• 1 can chunk pineapple (drained)
• 1 container Cool Whip
• 1 bag mini marshmallows
• 1 can lite cherry pie filling

Directions:

Mix everything together. Stir vigorously (arm workout included!). Refrigerate overnight.

Family Note: Danielle, one of the smallest members of our family, volunteers for the  stirring job because “it builds muscles.” The next day she’s usually resting tired arms, but man, she is fast walking and keeps the family moving by planning some great post feasting beautiful hikes!

Our Real-Life Thanksgiving Moments

Because Pinterest-perfect is overrated, here are some of our favorite “things went sideways” stories:

The Year of the Ham Fire (2012)

The ham leaked outside its cooking bag (sealed bag, we swear!). Dad arrived RIGHT when the small fire started in the oven. We applied baking soda, opened all the windows and doors, turned on fans, and waved towels at the smoke alarms. Everyone smelled like smoke for hours. The ham was delicious.

The Hospital-to-Table Year (2013)

My dad was in the hospital until the day before Thanksgiving. Best way to experience being grateful…  having him at the table. Sometimes just being together is the most important ingredient.

The Luxury Thawing Year (2014)

We forgot to thaw the rolls AGAIN. This time they thawed in Kathy’s car. Someone asked, “Did you turn on the seat warmers?” Because if you’re going to thaw rolls in a car, they deserve luxury treatment.

How We Make Fun Efforts at Family Peace: Divide & Conquer

The first year, we had “random cards” people could pick up and read aloud if they felt like saying something less-than-nice. It was our conflict prevention system. Turns out, we didn’t need them, but they made everyone laugh.

By year three, we’d found our rhythm:

• Danielle: Head Chef (she claimed this role and executed beautifully)

• Kathy & Ryan: Kitchen support staff and sous chefs

• Tiffany & Dominic: Table setting with the nice dishes

• Sharon & Harry: Side jobs and the endless kitchen cleanup

• Marilu: Cleanup crew, she’s the one who kindly taught me I was loading a dishwasher incorrectly.

How to Load a Dishwasher Correctly

• Everyone: Shopping, chopping, laughing, snacking, dancing, fun projects, games, puzzles and making memories

The Real Goal: LEFTOVERS

Let’s be honest, half the reason we cook all this food is so we can have turkey sandwiches, turkey soup, and reheated stuffing for days. Our shopping list literally says “make extra for leftovers” in multiple places.

Day-After Turkey Soup

What you’ll need (that you hopefully bought):

• Extra celery & onion
• Extra chicken broth
• Cut carrots
• Noodles
• All the leftover turkey you can salvage

Saturday tradition: Dig in the garden for potatoes and onions (if you have a garden), put EVERYTHING in the soup, and let it simmer while you keep cleaning the kitchen.

Tip: Grow Your Own Potatoes in a Container

What We’ve Learned

After more than a decade of Thanksgiving gatherings, here’s what really matters:

1. Check those expectations! If you want things to be different then YOU must lead the way!  Bring YOUR FAVORITE…

• Music
• Earbuds AND a portable speaker 
• Charging Cable
• Game(s)
• Puzzles
• Books
• Activities (Holiday Cups, knitting, art, sport (cornhole, ball, skate, bike…)
• BE CREATIVE and LEAD!

2. Let people have their roles/rolls. If someone wants to be head chef, let them lead. If someone loves setting tables, hand them the dishes. (put on a You tube video that teaches something new, like napkin folding) 

3. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s connection. And leftovers. But really, mostly connection. But also leftovers.

4. Write things down! These shopping lists and notes have become family treasures. Your kids will laugh at them someday. Have a computer open so every one can write something or, as part of our Uplift Through the Holidays program suggests, get a pretty book, set out some art supplies and see who creates what! Those cards were so much fun! I wish I could find them. 

5. Invite everyone to participate and set those kids on counters and stools early to assist, you are training the next generation.

6. Wander, watch, read the rooms, the people, be curious, ask questions. If you are lucky enough to still have a Grandparent consider something like a book of questions to record their best stories. 

7. When in doubt, add more butter. AND make sure to move a whole lot. Music is magic!

P.S. If you’re hosting Thanksgiving for the first time and feeling overwhelmed, remember: We forgot the rolls in the truck, set off the smoke alarms, and still call it our favorite holiday. You’ve got this. 🦃

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💙 Want more uplifting life skills and stories? Visit alllifeskills.newwallpaper.net/ YouTube Channel for tools to help you navigate life’s transitions with grace and humor.

📖 Check out “Step Stones to Calm Emotions” for more practical wisdom on handling life’s sticky situations.